Weekly Scrap #320 - Helton Pereira, first things first

Corley: I get asked all the time, what is a vigilante? What does it mean to be a vigilante? And so to explain that, I'm just gonna kind of explain where the vigilantes came from. When I started the group, I honestly thought there was gonna be like 10 or 20 people who really liked the scrap. That would want to be part of the behind the scenes, helping pick out the guests and make the questions and things. And I never dreamed that the vigilantes would grow into what it has grown into. Over 700 like-minded souls If you're a vigilante, you are never alone. We have members from across the country. We have members from across the globe. And it's just amazing what it's become. If you're in there, then you get to be in the Discord, and the Discord is where we do all of our dis Discussions and people go live and they talk and they ask questions and we have a channel for bitching and moaning for presenting classes. It's just it's amazing the fellowship that is involved in being a vigilante. And it's not just that, there's so many other benefits You get access to the Vigilante only swag shop. You get the 15% discount on all merch from Firehouse Vigilance. You get the after parties. You get the Vigilante get togethers when we're all at the same place and we get together and we raise a glass and do a toast and have the vigilante creed. You get the vigilante coin when you hit your one year anniversary with your number. The fireaways, the forums, the archives, all the quarterly projects that are coming that that you get to be a part of and get to be behind the scenes on, it's grown into something bigger than I ever imagined And I want people to know about I want people to be a part of if you're not a vigilante, why not? I don't know, I don't know how how big it could be. I don't know. I mean the vigilantes are are where the work is at. They're the ones who are getting stuff done and it's phenomenal to be a part of it. I wanted to get on here and explain where it started, how it how it came to be, and ask you if you're not a vigilante, why not? It go to patreon.

Corley: com slash the vigilantes. That's where you sign up. It is five dollars a month. I mean it's You can't even get a cup of coffee for that anymore. Five bucks a month, and you get to be a part of this unbelievable group. Go to patreon. com, sign up, become a vigilante, and I will see you on the Discord. Corley Moore, Firehouse Vigilance, it is weekly scrap number 320. My guest tonight is Helton Pereira. He is first and foremost. a Christian husband, a father, and then a firefighter paramedic. He has 17 years of experience in the fire service, currently serving as a lieutenant. He's the author of The First Things First, a book written to help firefighters fall in love with the job by focusing on faith, family, fitness, and firefighting. He also hosts the First Things First podcast, where guests share stories of their love for the job and the fire service. His passion for mentoring and serving others is a reminder for why this truly is. the best job in the world. And I'm excited for the conversation. So welcome my brother, Helton Pereira, to episode number 320. Helton Pereira: Chief, thank you. I appreciate it. I am honored and humbled to be here. I am I'm really excited to just share what's on my heart with everybody.

Corley: Awesome, man. I'm looking forward to the conversation. Is there anything I missed? Anything you want to add to the intro Helton Pereira: I know that's that was good. Corley: Excellent. All right, then we will get to the beautiful sponsors and we can get to the beautiful questions from the audience Use the soap. All right. All that being said, to Helton, it is time to scrap. All of the beautiful sponsors. So I never want to say we got that out of the way like they're not important. They are important. And that's why we do them right up front and get them done so that we can get to scrapping audience is already in here. They're pretty excited to have you here. I gotta see what I did. I did a new thing where I did the pop-out chat. Now I gotta figure out where it's at. So there we go. Absolutely excited. Ready? Let's go with five O's coming in from Faith in the Firehouse. Forged in Darkness said, let's go, Helton. So they're absolutely supporting you up. LFG, the first things first. Let's go heltain the first things first. So yeah, there's one one jam up guy right there with five fire emojis. So they're excited to hear what you have to say, my brother. So let's just kick it off. And let's first of all talk about, we'll just lead off with talking about the book because this is actually how I kind of got to know you right out the gate. You were working on this when we first met It was pretty far along, I think, but also not finished yet. So anyway, I'll let you tell the story and just go from there.

Helton Pereira: Yeah, for sure. I think the first, let's put the first things first, right? So I have to say that I want to first Thank and honor my wife and my kids for allowing me to do this because if it wasn't for them, it wasn't if it wasn't for her holding holding it down at the at the house. you know the the countless hours that I that I took for you know like hey I'm gonna go write hey I'm gonna go to a conference hey I'm gonna go train So I first have to honor her and and she's definitely my rock and she is one of the reasons why I I wrote the book. So The first thing first where where it came from actually was it came from a lot of conversations with with people at the firehouse. Obviously It's a concept that I got from my faith, you know, like you you put the first things first, you give the first fruits, you give the first best of of what you get. And so I started actually having a lot of conversations with guys and girls at the firehouse. you know people were just having issues with with their mental health. you know, going through divorces, substance abuse. And so a lot of these conversations that started happening and people would ask me for for advice like, hey, what do you do? Or or how do you deal with this? And those conversations just they became more and more, you know, I I a lot more were happening. And I was like, man, what's What's going on? I don't have all the answers, you know.

Corley: So frequency and increase in intensity or both or yeah, so so really what happened Helton Pereira: There was a there was a string of things that that were happening in my life, probably about five years ago, that that really kind of like kickstarted this this whole thing. So always being a guy that that goes to church and and reads the Bible, and I'm intense, very intenseful in in you know, pouring time into my marriage, pouring time into my kids. Obviously that showed, you know, like I'm, you know, if anybody is is you know, my friend on social media, they see that I'm always posting pictures of me and my wife on date nights, you know, having coffee on the front porch, me going to sports games with my kids and and doing things with them. So people would always they would see that and say, hey man, like you're obviously doing something right. And I'm just I'm trying to figure these things out. You know, so those conversations started coming. And so when I when I have what I what I think is a good marriage, is a good family, and people see that in me and they're like, hey man, you're doing something right. What is it that you're doing? And I was like, man, I I'm just putting God first, loving my wife, taking care of my kids, and I'm not pouring myself into the job like some of us do s a lot of times, you know, I think that sometimes we just Because this well let me say this. This truly is the best job in the world. I I am I'm really lucky and I'm blessed that I have this. You know, it's a job that I that I wanted, that I prayed for, and and that I I think it's the best job out there. But sometimes we kind of put the job in front of other things and I think that's why sometimes those conversations started happening because guys and and girls there were just P we put ourselves, we go to training, we go to conferences. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And and then after a while, like we forget that, hey, we have a wife and and kids at home.

Corley: Like the job will replace what's most important. It will. And and it it'll feel natural when it's happening. Helton Pereira: Yeah, for sure. And then then, you know, your wife already is a single mom in a way, you know, because you're gone for 24 hours. And Throughout the years after you know the the the kids are are gone and now you just your two roommates that don't really have anything to to talk about. So what I did was I wanted to put the first things first, like it says in the book. I want to You know, make sure that my wife and I are going to church. We're raising our kids in in a good home. And we're just loving one another and and taking care of each other. And so the the things that that happened to me is, and I'll be honest, like There are there was a time in my career that I myself, I was what I call quote unquote out of love with the job, right? Because it was a slow drip of the job. It wasn't so much like the the calls or there was no traumatic event. It was just like the little things here and there. that just added up. And you know, have I lost some friends. you know, the I had a friend that committed suicide back in in 2014. And then I had another friend that that died more recently, I believe it was 22 And so he was he was a really close friend to me. We went to high school, not to high school, to recruit school together. And so that was obviously big. You know, the first thing I think, man, he He committed suicide. That was the first thought that came into my mind. But actually he had a cardiac event. And then a year after that, when the week that we're going to Colorado Springs to put his name on the wall, another friend of ours had a heart attack. And then six months after that, I had another guy who had a mental breakdown and had to leave the job. Six months before that, I had a guy with substance abuse that had to leave the job. And these are all guys in my recruit school. So I was like, man, there's there's obviously a commonality that's something going on that people are not putting the right things in the right order in their lives.

Helton Pereira: And that's where the book came about. And that's when I started putting pen to paper. And and I just Wanted to give more than because I couldn't have these one-on-one conversations with everybody. So I thought if there are these guys that are just close to me that are dealing with this, there's got to be more people that are dealing with that. So that's where the book came about. And That's that's where the first things first came from. Corley: No, I and and and like I said, we met at the culture forge actually at Firemanship. I think it was the first time we met in person. Correct. And we had a good conversation there. But one thing I'm hyper, hyper, I want to say sensitive to is like people come up and s and and start telling me about something they're working on and stuff. And I'm like, man, hold on. I pump the brakes. I don't want to hear about your project. I want to get I want to know who you are. And but one thing I will say about you is that that you just try to bring value to the fire service. That's what the what the book does. That's what the podcast. That's one of the reasons I wanted to have you on, is because I never, it wasn't just you promoting, just trying to promote, you know what I'm saying? If that makes sense what I'm saying. There's a difference. There's a genuine genuinality. I'm making up words now. to it. And so that's one thing I wanted to to to to bring up and talk about was that it is bringing value to the fire service. The people who take the time to read first things first The first things first. And the people who take the time to listen to it, there is a so much roadmap to

Helton Pereira: I don't even want to think success is the right word so much as long-term I want a better word than success, but long-term Yeah, it it is, it truly is like one of the one of the lines that I say is I wanna I wanna be able to To live beyond the fire service, right? Because when we put our two weeks in and we're ready to retire, like somebody else is gonna come and fill our seats. But I want to love the job from the day one until the last day that I'm here and after the job. You know, the other thing that too, like I we sit at the firehouse table and we complain about The rigs, the schedule, the anything and everything that we can, we we'll find a reason to to sit around and and complain around the kitchen. Corley: And we're good. We're masters of it. Helton Pereira: And so so I kind of got tired of that a little bit. And don't get me wrong, like I'll I'll sit around the kitchen table and complain just like anybody else. But that just that rhetoric just got old and tired. So I just wanted to really give back and say, hey, here, here are the things that I have done. Not because I'm perfect and I've I've got everything figured out, but these are the things that I have done. That it seems to be working, you know. My wife's happy, the kids are happy, and and I'm I love the job, you know, and so I just wanted to share that with people. And and I think that if we get you know, the home part right. I think that the job it it just gets so much easier, you know.

Corley: Oh dude, yeah, absolutely. First things I don't want to say first things first, but it fits. It's apro very apropos. All right, we're gonna throw we're we're gonna start throwing questions at you because there's a lot already stacking up from the audience. So are you ready for your first questions from the audience? Helton Pereira: Let's go. Let's let's hit it Corley: Faith in the firehouse has come at you and says, advice for firefighter mid-career, finding themselves out of shape, out of love with the job, and feeling burnout. Man, I've I've I've been that person and know that person of many, many. trying to get through shifts, but they have a wake-up call Where to start a comeback? I love that question. So thank you, Faith in the Firehouse. I'm not yeah, go ahead. Helton Pereira: All right. So so that was actually me. That was in in that there was a period in my in my career where I was I was angry, I was you know, mad I was out of shape. so I actually lost 60 pounds back in 2018. I put a couple of them back. you know, and so I just I just said listen I I want to again I want to live beyond the fire service, right? So I had to start eating right. I had to start exercising. And I just had to start sleeping. Sleeping was another big thing. And and we've talked about this, right?

Corley: That a lot of times I don't catch the the scrap live because I I like my sleep and and your East Coast too, which is scrap is is rough on the East Coasters. Helton Pereira: So it's a big thing. So I just had to, and I didn't go crazy, you know, I didn't go with a crazy diet. I didn't go with a crazy exercise routine. I just started small, you know, and and you know, started walking a mile, started running a mile, started, you know, now I'm built up to to I'm actually training for for a marathon now. And so The change that you have to make for me, it it really was, and I'm gonna tell this story because it's it was a real rake up call. So my wife and I are taking the kids to the pool. And she you know she always takes videos of of us playing and she's showing me the video and I'm like man who is that fat guy chasing our kids around And I realized it was me. And so for me, that was like, I was like, man, like I, you know, at the at the time I was early 30s and I was like, I can't be that. I can't do that to my kids. So that was for me, that was the the wake-up call. So I would say that for anybody that's struggling is find find an accountability partner that can that can show you some workout routines, somebody that can show you how to how to eat right. And it doesn't have to it doesn't have to be a crazy diet. It just Eat less and and exercise more. That's that's start right there. And man I I can't tell you how much that's gonna change your It's gonna want make you train more, it's gonna want to make you more excited about the job. I your uniform's gonna fit better, you're gonna look better, and hey, the wife loves it. So that's if that alone should be should be a you know a good motivation.

Corley: No, phenomenal, phenomenal. And the consistency. I love that. I love the answer. I love the question, Faith in the Firehouse. And what I will say and I'll tack on because I love I'm a quote guy, so I'll throw two quotes at you One of them I'm going to bastardize Huberman. And one of the things he says, when your mind isn't right, look to the body. So get in the gym and just put in work. whatever that looks like for you. And everybody starts at a different zero or a different negative, you know. So some people's, you know, but just put in work. When the mind isn't right, look to the body and start getting the body right. The other thing is Master Sergeant Chief. I get the rank. it's our sergeant major of the army daily. And I think he was in the 90s to the early 2000s. But one of his quotes, he had the 10 I w I went over in one of the early, early scraps, but one of them, one of my favorites is PT is not the most important thing you will do today. It's the most important thing you'll do every day. And I absolutely love that quote. And those two things right there, I think, is one of the best ways to defeat that burnout and that complacency. Yes. those things.

Helton Pereira: One of one of our battalion chiefs used to say that on the days that I feel like working out, I do it for myself. You know, the days that I don't feel like working out, I I do it because somebody else's life depends on it. And so that that's also motivation and just finding somebody like a work out partner or somebody that can motivate you. I tell you what, one of the best things for me that motivates me, it's it's the it's the Discord, the vigilante. It's just like posting a daily workout. Like I see everybody posting their workout. I was like, oh man, I are Okay, I I gotta do something or you know, not not that we're trying to one up each other, but that's that's an accountability right there. Corley: No, the accountability is I feel the same thing when I when I'm like today man I can feel the lactic acid built up. I need to, I need to rest. I need to rest my body. You know what I'm saying? And I don't post the work. I don't hit the weights. And I'm like, man, I didn't post anything today because it was a recovery day. yeah. So But no, I I feel that like you said, it's not a one-up. It's an a, it's a it's an accountability and and it's powerful. I really, yeah, absolutely. Thank you for the question. Keep them coming. Kyle Piverall is coming next Kyle says, LT, how can we motivate and encourage those people that don't see the importance of fitness, choose not to, or flat out refuse to get in shape for the job? Yeah, there's a million dollar question for you.

Helton Pereira: Man, if I if I can figure that out and jar it up and man, I'll I'll be a millionaire. I think you've heard it here before. I this is nothing new. Just start doing it yourself. It if you're going to motivate people, you not that you're trying to make them look bad, but if you start working out If you invite them, hey, maybe change your workout. Maybe you don't have to do you know the Murph today. You can change it up, do something easy, you know, maybe maybe it's just a a walk around the firehouse. Just invite them to walk around the firehouse You know, just hey, hey man, I'm gonna take a walk. Invite them to walk on the treadmill. If your firehouse is two treadmills or a treadmill on a bike, you know, invite invite them to have a conversation with you. Start small. Perhaps it will guilt him into into doing it. Say, hey, we're gonna do a crew workout today. Now if everybody else but that person is is joining Maybe they're gonna feel a little guilty and and join in. And unfortunately, sometimes people are just stuck in their ways and they don't want to do it. But I think that I I love group PT. So doing a group PT session, it's a it's a good way to to bond with your crew. It's a good way to build relationships. And I think that perhaps showing them that way instead of I don't think shaming is ever going to work. Right. So perhaps just just using some positive motivation in that way of just, hey, we're we're going out to the bay, we're gonna, we're gonna do some drills or we're gonna work out, we're gonna run, we're gonna do wh perhaps that's that's a way to to motivate them.

Corley: Get them involved and encourage it. I firmly believe this. I can't prove it with a with the calculator or anything, but I firmly believe everybody knows they need To be everybody knows what they need to do. They do in their deep psyche. They know what they need to do. Now, the problem is they've gotten so far deep down into complacency, they created this false reality and then these excuses and these things that they say that they really don't even believe what they say 'em. And so, but if you can get a little bit of involvement and then and then some encouragement, it's powerful once they realize they can do it and those scales start falling off and they actually start punching through that self-deception. It can be pretty powerful. so yeah, good luck with it, man. That's a that's the it is the million dollar question. He'll write, he'll write fixing fitness first or something, and that'll be the million-dollar multiple multi-platinum I love it. Thank you for the question, Kyle. Scott Hoke says, how do you recognize that you're the problem and not the environment around you? How do you identify where to start that transformation?

Helton Pereira: Man, I think that sometimes you you have to you have to dig deep, right? You have to if everybody is Again, just like the last question, if if everybody around you is doing something that is different than than you are, and it's either working for them, if if you're the guy, if you're the only guy left at the table complaining, or if you're the guys coming to the table to complain. it it may be you. You may be the problem, you know? And so I I think that self-awareness is it's something that it's not everybody has, but but but Perhaps ask somebody, man. Sometimes so a good friend of mine, Marshall Warm, he's he's another buddy that I went to recruit school with. he was a quarterback in in in high school and and he's still a great quarterback, okay, so you still win the title. so he he became a captain. He said that he needed a left tackle. You know, and the left tackle just he just watches his blind side. And so he had somebody on a screw say, hey, when I am doing something that if I'm giving you an order or giving you a drill or telling you to do something That the crew doesn't think it's good or or that I'm way wrong, you need to tell me. So find somebody that you trust Whether a mentor, it can be somebody that's a rank above you or sometimes it's even good to go a rank below you and be like, hey, what where am I missing the mark at What am I messing up on? What are the things? What could I be doing better? If you were the officer, you should probably be doing a reverse you know, evaluation because we always do the evaluations on our on our guys and girls, right? So I try to do that every year. I say, hey, here's my Here's my evaluation of you, but I want you to write an evaluation of me. What am I doing right? What am I doing wrong? Where am I missing the mark? So perhaps having that conversation with somebody that somebody that you can trust and somebody that's going to be honest with you and not just sugarcoat it, perhaps that's that's one of the ways. that you can figure out.

Corley: Phenomenal little blueprint you just laid out there. I love everything you said, man. and one of the things I always say, when you ask the question, when you have the ability to ask the question You know, is it maybe I'm the problem here? Maybe, maybe I'm the that's a that's a great first step because there's a lot of people who like just point the finger outward and they never can look in the mirror. So at least asking the question, let you know you're on that that path to that identity. And the other thing, and I love what Helton said about blindside, the blind side tackle. Great analogy, but we all have blind spots. And they're called blind spots for a reason because we can't see them. And so if you don't, I mean you're not gonna just wake up and all of a sudden see your blind spots You've got to get that outside reference. And he already brought up the reverse evaluations and 360s. Man, phenomenal, phenomenal. Great question. From Scott. Keep them coming. Man, vigilantes, scrappers, they're all showing out. Forged in Darkness wants to know what made you want to become a fireman Do you feel like it's just a job or more of a calling? Where's where do you where where do you land?

Helton Pereira: Ooh, man. So I didn't find this job. The job found me I was a college student and I I wanted to go to medical school. I wanted to be a super cool doctor. And so I started volunteering because I said, hey, I want to do this EMT thing and and see if I wanna if I like it. And I had I love the story. So I had an instructor for fire extinguishers class, and this guy was so excited. He was just teaching fire extinguishers But he was on a classroom, like he was on the floor. He is like crawling as if you if he's going down the hallway, and he's like spray like in the middle of the classroom, spraying water everywhere. And I'm like, at first I was like, this guy's crazy. Right. You know, but then I just, I just loved his fashion so much that the next day I went back to my volunteer firehouse and I said, where do I sign up for fire school? You know, so if if you're an instructor and you have that passion, man, you can change somebody's life because that's what what did it for me. So I started applying for the job and I was just like, man, this is this is awesome. I I love this. And applied for the fire service and here I am 17 years later. I I I love it. Oh, absolutely phenomenal. And so oh so yeah, job or calling.

Corley: Jobber calling. Helton Pereira: Yeah, jobber calling. So the second half I I I truly think that it is it's both, right? Yes, it's the job, it pays the bills, it's cool, but for me, I I definitely feel called to the fire service. After, you know, I obviously got into the job and realized what it was. one of my things, I believe that one of my mission is to serve God and serve people. And so I get to serve people in through the fire service. You know, I get to serve the people that call 911 and I, you know, I help them, I take them to the hospital, I I put the fire out. But I I right now I truly believe that one of the things that I am called for is to help the men and women of the fire service you know, whether it's through the book, you know, helping and teaching them how to put the first things first and and how to love their wives better, how to be better fathers, how to be better friends, how to how to have better relationships. You know, I I I think we've talked about this before. Man, it's it's all about relationships. You know, if we get our relationships You know, I I think that everything just just makes it makes it so much easier. If we understand how to relate to people, how to relate to one another, it just makes the job so much easier. So I I feel called to to the fire service. Yes, I definitely think it's a calling as well.

Corley: Love it. Beautiful answer. Beautiful question. looking back, okay, so I've read through questions. And just cycling. So it's really good stuff. The scrappers are absolutely showing out. Jeremy Humphrey coming at you. Hump wants to know, looking back now, where have you personally failed at putting first things first and what did you learn from it? Whew trying to get into the mistakes. Helton Pereira: Yeah, no, man. That's I made a lot. Corley: Hump doesn't throw easy soft tosses. Helton Pereira: No, yeah, that's why I love hump, man. It's I've learned a lot, you know. So There were times in my life I already said that my wife was a single mother because I was I was signing up for every overtime shift. I was signing up for every training that came out. I wanted to take every class. most recently I just found out what did you guys know that there's a fire department outside fire service outside of your department And you can go to conferences and there's cool people like Corley Moore and Cody Tastrell and dude, I was just like, conferences? Yes, I'm in. Sign me up. And she's like, yeah, I'm at home with three kids. So like, you know, and so you can't get really, really into the job. And because like I said, it's the best job in the world. It's cool. The kind of stuff that we do is awesome. And And so there there was a time that she had to be like, hey man, you gotta you gotta take a break. You gotta remember you have a wife and three kids at home. So My wife is is she's the boss, she's she's the wisest woman I've ever met. But I have now I have a 13, an eleven, and a 10-year-old. But when they were little, you know, I I started to notice So I I never wanted to be the guy that was at work all the time, you know? And so my dad missed a couple of vacations. He missed my my my father missed my graduation, unfortunately, because of work. And I don't blame him, you know. So

Corley: It that's so we moved from Brazil but it definitely had an impact on you and said, No, yeah, 100%. Helton Pereira: And for me, the the change was when My daughter at the time, she must have been like nine or ten. And I walked into her room and I'm going to an over overtime shift and she is bawling. And she said, Dad, I feel like I don't even owe you. You work all the time. And man, that like that just crushed me, you know. So I had to I was actually sharing that with somebody today. Like the overtime shifts is not how much you get paid to your overtime shift, is how much your your work is paying you. to take time away from your family. So when I looked at it that way, I was like, man, there's no money, you can't pay me $100, $200, $500 an hour to be away from my family. So I had to shift a little bit so maybe I won't take the shift work on Saturdays now because they have soccer games. Maybe I won't take the shift work on a Tuesday because that's when we can do date night. And so I had to reset and refocus like where I could take time, you know, over time or or what trainings I could get to or what certs I wanted to get. So now we have a three-month calendar on on our fridge that says, hey, here are the days that I'm working. here are the day, hey, I would like to. So now I Before I pick up overtime, I text her, I call her, say, hey, they just call me for this overtime shift. Can I work here? And she looks at her calendar and we say, yeah, we're cool. And so just working those things out, man, it's It definitely has has helped a lot on on our on our relationship for sure.

Corley: Communication, expectations, being on the same page, there's so much power in it. So much power in it. And there's so many relationships out there that they operate almost in different Different books, let alone the same page. You know, and and you scratch your head. You know, and the the power being on the same page. Once you're there, it's like, holy smokes, how did we even function without this? How you know, it's great Yeah, we're actually so not that not that either one of us are perfect or our relationships are perfect, but it there's a such such a power in it. But go ahead. Helton Pereira: No, not at all. So we actually I was just talking about this earlier. So we actually had a a marriage small group at our house earlier today And that's one of the things that we talked about is sometimes we put the work before the marriage, right? And absolutely. Usually when we are younger. You know, is when we're l making less money, but that's when we're working the most because the kids are little, I have more time, I have more energy, but that's I'm missing, you know, the birthdays, I'm missing the the first steps, I'm missing the first words But the later years, as we're older, that's when we're making most money. And that's when we're, you know, that's when we also have extra time. So understanding that dynamic of, okay, when can I pick up extra shifts? But like I also don't want to miss the big things at home And it's a very, it's a very hard dichotomy. And you have to understand like how does your family structure work? You know, like for me, my wife, I am blessed enough that she stays at home with the kids. Well, now she started working again. So you have to figure out, and like you said, you have to communicate. If you again, if you don't have, if you don't have a plan, you plan to fail, right? And so you have to sit down with your wife and say, hey, here are family goals. here if whether it's this is how much money you're gonna make or whether this is how we're gonna I want you to stay home or are we gonna homeschool the kids all those things are things that you got to talk through and and if it's If you guys are not on the same page, that's that's when the stuff crumbles.

Corley: A recipe for a very rocky road. Mm-hmm. No, absolutely. Absolutely. Forged in darkness. How do you balance the firehouse family and your family at home? Which we kind of talked about and covered a little bit, so I don't know if you have anything to add to that one, but I wanted to throw it out there. If you have anything to add. Helton Pereira: Yeah, man. So the firehouse family, it's it's it's just as important, right? Because it's almost a third of your life that you spend with the guys and girls at the firehouse. So if you are at a at a place where you can Have meals together and my guys are actually gonna hate me for that because right now I'm not eating with them because I'm on a weird training schedule. But have the have the meals together. invite your families to the firehouse. We have there's a there's a crew in my in my department, man, they're they're really good at this. Every summer they have a family day. And there's bounce houses, there's they set up the pop-up pool, you know, like there's a whole party at the firehouse. You know, my wife has come to plenty of Christmases, Thanksgiving. sometimes she would just do pop-ins and come have dinner with the crew. Just involve the involve your family with your firehouse family because it's it's all one, right? So yeah, it's it's super important. Have the meals, have the the the family over just and the one thing that I'll say too is spend time outside of the firehouse as well, you know? Have them over to your house. Go hang out with them, go to a go golfing with them. I don't golf because I'm terrible, but like you know, whatever it is, you know.

Corley: Whatever activity you can find to share. Yeah, yeah, for sure. It's two stuff together. Yeah, no, definitely powerful. What's I'm going through I'm going through the questions. They're coming at you fast and furious. Jerem Hump hump coming at you once again. What's the first step a firefighter or company officer can take? to introduce first things first principles into their station culture. Helton Pereira: Yeah, you gotta live it out, right? So you first you have to live it out at home. So just again, be the example, I think, is Be a good husband, be a good father, be a good friend, and the fire like it's it's I know it's I'm sounding cliche, but like You have to live these things out, man. If you if you are a good husband, it means that you are a good leader, right? So if you if you can love and respect your spouse, it means that you can love and respect your people. Right, if you're able to love and correct your children in a in a good and fair way, that means you're going to be good and fair to your guys and girls of the firehouse. And one thing that I'll that I'll say is learn how to correct. apologies, learn how to connect before you correct people. Because if you just if you're just throwing the hammer down every time and you're not connecting with them, understanding what makes them c them click it you're just gonna you're just gonna hammer people and they're gonna hate you. And so understanding those relationships it's it's really what's gonna you know Make it again if you get it right at home, you're gonna get it right at the firehouse. Because at the end of the day, if if you're a company officer, your your guys and girls are like your children. Sometimes you have some knucklehead children, you know, and and you have to sometimes you have to correct them, but Again, learn what what they what they need, learn what makes them click. You know, like you say, it's it's can't do won't. You know, like what is it that they need? Is it because they can't do it and don't know how to do it? Is it because they don't know There you go. Like if now if they won't do it, that's that's when you're gonna have to, you know, become like a father figure and be like, hey, now I'm now I can drop the hammer.

Helton Pereira: But once you've built out those relationships with those guys and girls they will then understand be like, yeah, you know, I'm sorry, I messed up. And so now you can you can have that those tough conversations. Corley: And like you said, it is cliche. It is cliche to to make the analogy towards being a father or or a parent and having kids at the firehouse. As a company officer, as a leader in the fire service. But it's a cliche for a reason because it's a really, really good analogy. And and your kids, when you discipline your kids, whatever that looks like in your household, if you do it from a place of love and you're doing it to make them better, they know that and they feel that And when you don't, they actually, I believe you know, again, I'm not a I'm not a parenting guru or anything like that, but I I firmly believe this is that when you don't discipline your kids, and there is no consequences for behavior and there is no expectations and there is no standard of how you're going to act. And I I don't know if the word standard is a is the is the proper one to use when you're talking about family, but if there is no standard of what's expected And there is no accountability when that isn't met, then you can't there is going to be chaos. There is going to be but when you're when they're actually when you take the time to actually set a standard, set an expectation, then hold people accountable to it Because that is your job and that is your responsibility. And you actually do it from a place of love for caring for your people or your kids, whichever one you're talking about. they feel that and they actually know that by your actions. And it's powerful, man. I love what you're saying.

Helton Pereira: There there's something that says that if you don't raise and discipline your children you're gonna end up raising and caring for your grandchildren. And that again translates exactly to the firehouse. So if you don't Have the the tough talks, the tough conversations. If you don't discipline your guys and girls at the firehouse, guess what? That's a culture that you're building. We talk so much about culture, right? Oh, how do we fix the foot culture? How do we fix the culture? How do we fix the culture Well, one is by setting the example and two is by holding people accountable to what they what what the standard is, you know. So if you have those tough conversations with your guys and girls, that's you setting the standard, that's you building the culture. Corley: You know can you can you have a standard that you don't meet yourself? Can't is it even possible? I mean, I know this is I'm this is almost a rhetorical question to you, but can you have a like an organizational standard that you don't meet yourself? Does it mean anything to your crews when you try to enforce that? Helton Pereira: No, because I I think then you're just being hypocritical, right? So if you're say, hey, you you must be at this level, but I'm here, then then it's hypocrisy. So you j you have to Again, you have to hold your people accountable to the same standards that you have. And so one thing that I'll say is that I started doing a couple years ago. I actually again got the idea from my buddy Marshall Warham. You know when you come in as an officer to a new firehouse or to new station, you have your list of of expectations. Hey, we're gonna clean up 9 a. m. We're gonna work out at 10, and we're gonna do training at one and and cook dinner at this time like You're dealing with grown-ups, so you don't have to give them a chore list, right? So instead of that, instead of giving my my firehouse expectations, I actually just give them my mission, vision, and values. Yes. So I here's what is important to me. You know, my mission is is this, my goal is this, my values are this. And so that just shows to them, like, hey, here's who I am as a person.

Helton Pereira: And That by itself, it that's gonna organize what your day looks like at the firehouse. Then you don't have to give them your expectations of oh when should we clean? Well, you should clean Because here's my values, here's my goals, here's my expect you know, like you don't have to give the dotted line the time expectations because they're gonna know just by who you are as a person. Corley: Phenomenal. And great the great chatter in the YouTube channel. There's great questions coming, great answers from the guests. This is a turn shaping up to be a beautiful scrap. Jason Boyles wants to know, Helton, what are some of your mentors inside and outside of the firehouse? How do you find a mentor outside of the job? Helton Pereira: All right. So mentors, you have to surround yourself with people that are going to build you up, right? I never want to be the smartest person in the room. So you always got to find people that are going to be building you up. So in the fire service, I just buy, you know. By pouring myself into the job and reaching out to people, really. For me, you know, Mark Davidson has been a huge mentor. Chief, you have been a huge mentor. Sometimes mentors are people that you don't even know. You know, it may be somebody that you are that you are just watch on YouTube or you've seen in a class. But guess what? Reach out to people. You know, like I'm I'm pretty sure that when we we first met, before I met you in person, I reached out to you and sent you a message.

Corley: That's the beauty of the internet right nowadays. Yes. Helton Pereira: You know, you can just send somebody a message, they may reply to you, they may not. find somebody that's that's going to be able to pour into you. And so mark was actually a huge influence on me writing a my first article a few years ago and that he really actually got me excited into into writing and putting my ideas on paper. You know, my my my buddy Marshall Worm, he's been a a huge mentor to to me because we've grown up in the fire service together. he's checked in on me when I when I had tough times. I've checked in on him when he's had tough times So those are those are definitely one of the ways. Just reach out to people. It it's one of the ways that you can find people inside the fire service Now outside of the fire service, you know, for me, one of obviously my my biggest thing is as you can see is on the top of my priorities is faith. So I have I have pastor friends, you know, pastors that are that are my mentors. My my pastor is actually is is my age, so he's a he's a friend, but also a pastor. I have guys in s what we call small groups that are you know mentors of mine they mentors in areas of my marriage mentors in areas of my finances mentors in areas of my my fitness so you you can find also mentors in different areas it doesn't have to just be one person and so That's and and here's the thing. So there's a there's a verse that in in Proverbs that says that sharpened iron sharpened iron. Okay, so that means that you know we're we're supposed to to challenge each other and and encourage each other But the thing about iron sharpening iron is they're not just there to say, hey, good job, hurrah, you're you're doing good. Sometimes they're going to have to call you out and say, hey man, you messed up on this thing, you messed up on that thing, you're falling short here. And so find somebody who is going to be You know, cheering for you, but also candid enough to say, hey man, you're you're falling short of where you're supposed to be.

Helton Pereira: You need to change, you need to step up. Corley: No, and that's a great point on the iron sharpens iron, because you we always think of it like a cheerleader and and a buildup and a and a positive reinforcement But it truly is the accountability aspect of it that really, really plays out. And Fortunate Darkness said Proverbs 27, 17, just for a frame of reference. So there you go. great question, Jason. Thank you for it. You guys are crushing it tonight. I want to I want to say. I like this. We're going to tap back to some tactics. Forged in Darkness wants to know, or skills at least, maybe not tactics, but is it more important to know a lot about everything or to master the basics perfectly? Helton Pereira: So I've had this conversation with with many people, right? So generals are called generals for a reason, right? They they know a little bit about a lot. So You have to decide where do you want to be in your career, right? Do you want to be the guy that knows a lot about ropes? Do you want to know be the guy that knows a lot about the engine? Do you want to sit back on the on the jump seat forever or do you want to one day step up to be the officer? Do you want to be the driver? Do you want to be the chief? Right? one thing that They and it's a it's a hard dichotomy, man. Actually sometimes I do, you know. But but also if we're going to say, hey, I want to make change in my organization. you have to be able to you have to be able to know a little bit about everything, right? The the beauty of my department is that You don't get to stay in a in a place for a long time. I I probably like maybe if you're in the same place for like five, six years, that's a long time for us in my department. Okay. So people get moved around sometimes. It's good, but it's bad, but also gives you different a different look, right? So we are a suburban fire department. So we have, you know, we have the the busy firehouses, we have the slow firehouses. We have a little bit of rural, we have a little bit of, you know, suburbs.

Helton Pereira: We don't have any high rises. There's like one or two So you get to see a little bit of everything. But you can also go like we have lieutenants and captains in the fire marshal's office. We have lieutenants in the EMS office. We have lieutenants in captains in in IT. So you actually get to see a lot of different aspects in the fire department. you can go to training, you can you can be in the specialty piece or you can you can be on the you know, on the rescue or you can be on the engine. So you get to move around a little bit. So really the question that you have to ask yourself is what do I want to do with my career? How much impact do I want to have in in the guys and girls that that I that I want to deal with, you know, so sometimes you just want to take care of your group. You just want to take care of your of your unit. But you may want to make change in in a bigger, you know, aspect where you want to, you know, be able to influence policy changes in and you know maybe make an impact in in even different fire departments. So where do you want to step up to? So I I think that it's man, again, it's a tough question. me personally, I I would like to one day be able to be a chief level officer. So I think that you need to know your job very well, right? So so don't get me wrong, I still need to know how to pull a hose line. I still need to know how to how to force a door. And so you need to know all the basics, right? But I also want to be able to know a little bit about about everything. So I I man, I tr I try to get into anything and everything I can because I just want to learn those aspects of the job. I may not I I have never been on a specialty piece. even though you know I think it's cool. You guys, hey truck guys and rescue guys, you guys are cool but you know, one day if I'm a chief level officer, I'm gonna be able to I I need to be able to tell them, hey, I need you to do a search at this place.

Helton Pereira: Hey, I need you to I need you to do an event and a search at this place. So I need to understand those things. That so I need to get those skills. Whether I get it in training or on an actual call, you need to learn and understand all those parts of the job. So one day when you're at the position where you're making decision, you need to understand what you're doing and not just willy-nilly because it says on the card. Primary check complete, secondary check complete. You know, you gotta understand what you're doing. Corley: Checkboxing it absolutely. And I'll and I'll piggyback off Hilton's answer in the fact of One of the things that's that makes it such a multifaceted question is every level that you rise to, there's a new set of basics. at each level, there is a new set of basics. So when you when you are a firefighter, the basics are forcing door, stretching hose, and throwing ladders And performance searches and those task level oriented things. And then when you go up to the the, you know, the let's say the company, I won't even talk about driver apparatus operator, which is a whole nother animal, but let's just say the company officer jumped into the right seat Now the the basics are dealing with people and tactics, you know, first first in do first due tactics and early decision making on emergency scenes. And then as you go up to the next level, now you're dealing with even more people's skills as your basics And if you're not good at those basics at each level, and you're in charge of people that are doing those. And so it it the amount of responsibility and the amount of basics you need to know the farther up you go, it's tremendous. If you want to be plugged in, if you want to be one of the best, it is a tremendous amount of basics you have to take, try to take off the table as as variables. So it's it's a phenomenal, phenomenal question, phenomenal answer. I love the basics. Daily refinery. What marathon? What marathon are you trading for?

Helton Pereira: All right. So I am man. So I gotta tell this story because it's really funny. So My brother-in-law run the Marine Corps marathon last year. And so it's Thanksgiving. I was like, man, dude, that's awesome. I've always wanted to run a marathon. So My other brother-in-law is like, well, I guess we're all doing it, right? So he signs all three of us up. And so now we're running the Marine Corps marathon this year, right here in DC. So I'm excited. I ran I ran a half in May So I'm training for the full marathon in October. Yeah, yeah. I got it under two hours. Corley: So I see your numbers on the when you post your your workout. So I know you got I know you got the running. Yeah, I mean you you yeah So you just did a 5k the other day with the family, right? Helton Pereira: Yeah, the whole family did a 5k. I am officially old. My 10-year-old crushed me by two minutes. Oh my daughter crushed me by one minute. And yeah, so I'm officially old. I love it. I love it. I was hoping I could make until four forty so I could beat them all in a foot race. But I guess they they got me.

Corley: Yeah, just gotta make this race shorter. The older it gets the shorter the race has to be. Helton Pereira: Yeah, I mean I I do I actually do a hundred yard dashes every year on my birthday. So hopefully I can redeem myself next year on the Big 4-0. Corley: I'm looking forward. We're coming up. I'm getting it. That's kind of getting into the five questions, so I'm not gonna ask that one. I'm going through, do Helton Pereira: Well, since while you're looking at questions, I'm gonna I'm gonna say something because cause it's it's really funny. So I never I never thought that I would run a marathon, but I think Running a marathon is probably, and and it it sounds crazy that I'm even saying this. I think everybody should at least train for a marathon in their lifetime. And just the the kind of lessons that I have learned from training For a marathon. I think it's specifically for the fire service. The first thing is mental resiliency and fortitude. Just the fact that I know that this Saturday I have to run 20 miles. There's nothing that I want to do less than run 20 miles this Saturday. But I know that I'm going to have to, you know, and obviously you can just do it you know willy nilly so I have been training up for it so it started with five miles and then six seven eight so it goes increasing by the weeks right and so now I'm up to a point that I can run 20 miles this weekend And so just the fact that I now I I have the mental fortitude to be able to know, hey, I this is what I need to do this Saturday, and this is what I need, this is what I'm training for. And so it just gives you that perspective. And here's the thing. You can't just run a marathon on a random Saturday, right? So you have to put in not just the the motivation because trust me motivation alone is not going to get you there is the discipline right so if you have the discipline to show up Not just on Saturdays. I gotta run five miles on a Monday and then take a rest day and then Wednesday and then take a rest day and Friday and then Saturday is the big run.

Helton Pereira: So it's the same way with anything and everything else you're gonna do in the fire service, right? So you you know you're gonna have to do this training or go to this class, and it's gonna have to be perpetually. You can't just We don't just run everything we learn in recruit school and then we're good for the next 20 to 25 years. We're gonna have to come back and do this and over and over and over again. So one day when when it matters, we can show up and do what we need to do. And so I I I can't tell you how good it has been mm for me to to just learn that it's it's persevering and and and embracing the suck. You know, I don't I don't mean I don't mean to sound like goggins, but man, it's Corley: it's no and there's science behind it there's actual science behind it that that that you know the mid-singular cortex and if you're if you're a nerd and get into it and things like that man when you when you force yourself to do things through discipline and consistency, to do things that you don't want to do that are hard. Not just things you don't want to do, but don't want to do that are hard. That section of your brain actually grows. The mid-singular cortex actually grows and gets stronger, and you're able to do more things that you don't want to do that are hard. And the less you use it, The harder it is to do things you don't want to do that are hard. And so and it gets and it actually shrinks. It's like a muscle. It's crazy. But the science is now backing it up. The science is backing up the goggins. yeah. Stay hard.

Helton Pereira: It makes you want to do stupid things. Like I'm already thinking about doing a half Iron Man last year next year. So just somebody somebody talk me out of this. Corley: That's that mid-cingular cortex growing, baby. Helton Pereira: Yeah. Corley: All right, one more here coming at you from Fortune Darkness. What do you think is more dangerous? A firefighter not knowing enough or a firefighter that thinks they know it all? Helton Pereira: Oof. I think that I would say probably the firefighter the things that he knows at all, right? Because if you if at least if you're somebody that you don't know enough, there's you can you can have somebody and walk you along and say, hey You should probably let me take you under my wing and and show you this. You know, the firefighter that thinks he knows everything, I think that that's when people end up falling short and and falling on their faces. You know, if you don't if you are somebody who don't know how to ask for for help, that's that's when you're gonna get yourself into trouble. And and those are the guys that actually come to me and say, hey man I thought I had it all figured out and and my wife's leaving me. You know, hey, I thought I had it all figured out and I just got a DUI last week, you know, and and I've had those those conversations unfortunately very recently. You know, and and those break my heart, man. It's it's again, it's not that I it's not that I have the answer to everything and it's not that I I have this thing all figured out, but it truly is it's it's God, family, you know, it's It's taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and s and spiritually. when when you think that you're on top of the world, it's man, you're gonna fall, fall hard. You know, so so ask for help. surround yourself with people that are that are doing well or at least better than you. You know, again, just just surround yourself with good people. There's one thing that I that I've read that says you need your crew before your crisis Right. So you need men and women that you trust that are going to be there for you, that are going to be calling you out when you're when you're falling short.

Helton Pereira: because if you if you hit you know rock bottom and you don't have anybody around you, man, it's gonna be rough. You know, so definitely you need your crew before your crisis. Corley: Right on, man. I love that. I do love that quote. Faith in the Firehouse said, the more you know, the more you realize you don't know. Dunning Kruger in full effect, man. Absolutely. Absolutely. And it's it's so so true. And I love your answer there. Last one. I said it last time. This is the last one from the audience. They keep throwing good questions, and I wanted to get to it. Scott Scott Hope has this one. Do you believe that you can have too much passion and it be counterproductive to the overall growth of everyone? How do you remain passionate without being overbearing? Helton Pereira: Man, if I if I can figure that out, brother, please. I'm sometimes I feel like I'm like lecturing people when when people ask me a question. So that is something that I'm still trying to figure out because again, it's not that I know everything. I I just I love, listen, I love God and love people. You know, that's that's what's in my heart. And so so anything that I can do to share with with people, I just want to share. And sometimes I my wife has told me, sometimes you overshare and you don't shut up and just listen. So I probably would say is take time to listen to people, you know, and and Chief, you you say that like listening skills listening skills is is probably one of the best skills you could have You know, so if you're if you want to be passionate, you can be passionate about something and and definitely you can be overbearing sometimes. so I I I lecture for the first time a few weeks ago, and after the fact I was like, man, I I feel like I just stalked at people for the whole time. You know, like I've I've I started the lecture and said, hey, we're going to have a conversation. Then I proceeded to talk for an hour and a half at them, you know? And so I'm not laughing.

Corley: I'm laughing because of the mindset of I've had it and I've been there and I've done it. And so it's just Yeah, absolutely. Helton Pereira: Go ahead. Corley: Yeah. Helton Pereira: No, I mean I think that that's it. You know, you can definitely be passionate and be overbearing. So, you know, give your give your tidbits. You know, hey, listen, if if you're if you're good Pastor and preacher, just three points, right? The three points makes a good message. So perhaps whenever you start talking to somebody, have your three points give them out and then shut up and let people, you know, let people receive it, soak in, and then have the conversation. You know, like there's a reason why you do this in a in a conversation style and not in a hey, tell your story because If I just were to come here and just tell my story for the next hour, 45 minutes, then people would be like, man, I click. Yeah. You know, so so definitely I think listen more than you talk when even even when you're trying to send a message out, because you give people the ability to respond. So can ask questions and then that's when the the neck the questions are gonna come And that's when you're going to lead into the different discussions and again, relationships. That's when you're going to form relationships with people.

Corley: When people feel, when they feel heard, understood, and valued, man, they'll they'll listen to everything you have to say. And and the real key, right? And I want to say this, Helton absolutely nailed it with his answer, but passion, any, I don't care what you're passionate about, any passion at all will always be overbearing if there's no relationship. And so if you're talking to a stranger about like you could go to a I'm trying to think of something, what's a a nerdy game convention and find someone who's passionate. about role-playing games and they'll come up to you and start talking to you and it will be overbearing as they tell you all about their 36th level, insert whatever, blah blah blah, whatever. thing that they're passionate about, right? But if there's no relationship, it will always be overbearing. And so that's the thing to keep in mind. So Helton nailed it with the man, just listen to them. If they're heard Valued and understood. If they fell, feel, heard, valued, and understood, they'll give you all the time in the world and listen to everything you have to say. Ah, dude, absolutely loving it. I'm loving it. So I love books. You know I love books. Besides this book, which I mean we've talked about first things first, but besides that book, what book do you think firefighters should be reading?

Helton Pereira: Man, I'm I'm so excited about this. I hope there's no time limit on this, but I I'll be short. I I I promise. Corley: Romagus, I think has the record. I think he went an hour and 45 minutes and talked about 73 books. Helton Pereira: All right. I I actually I I Tore my lip my list down, but this is obviously is the number one book. So this is my Bible. Corley: Oh okay. Helton Pereira: It is it's falling apart, but here's the thing. I'd rather have my Bible be falling apart than my life. So this is an everyday thing. it's an encyclopedia. You know, like you can start in the book of Proverbs. It's like Every day there's 31 Proverbs. It's like the uneffed firefighter. You know, there's a little tidbits in there every day that you can read. Man, there's some good stuff. There's a you know there's there's romance stories here. There's war stories. Man, it's so good for you. This is this is number one book for sure and one thing that we didn't get to get into is purpose and identity boom purpose driven life Rick Warren man great book Dig into that one. Corley: Rick Warren, Purpose Driven Life. I'm trying to be in the habit of saying the names on each book. So the Bible. Rick Warren, Purpose Driven Life. Go ahead.

Helton Pereira: Engage the enemy. Josh Chase. Josh is Josh has been a huge, huge mentor of mine as well. Engage the Enemy. He talks about battles that we have, right? That man, people are trying to to steal our identity and our purpose. And that book is is super, super good and impactful on that. Another one that for me that helped me figure out what was that you're passionate about and what the world really needs finding your purpose. And this is Mike Donahy. He's he's actually a guitarist. finding God's life for my will. It's kind of trying to figure out Corley: Now say that say that title again. Yeah, yeah. Helton Pereira: It's kind of a weird title. It's Finding God's Life for My Will by Mike Donahy. Okay. He says like you gotta find the the world's deepest need and your biggest passion. And when those two meet, that's that's where your your purpose is. But you have to be careful because if you pour your pour yourself too much into that, you can you can kind of get yourself lost. But man, like matching those two things, world's biggest need and your biggest passion, and that's where your purpose is.

Corley: Beautiful Helton Pereira: And man, I could talk about like marriage books for like three hours, but I'll try not to. But first one, five love languages. Five love, man. You you gotta you gotta know if you understand your wife's and your spouse's love language, you're gonna make a lot of love. so Make sure you you know there's five and actually it's I won't spoil it. It's gonna be on the on the end here. Oh this is old but goody, Mike Galliano. Challenges of a firefighter marriage. Man, I I just picked it up. I just finished. I had him on the podcast, and it's something that Give it to your spouse as well. You know, read it for yourself, but give it to your spouse. She'll figure out all the weird stuff that we do in the fire service. it's gonna be on there. Marriage on the Rock, Jimmy Evans. Corley: Marriage on the Rock. Helton Pereira: Marriage on the Rock, Jimmy Evans. Dude, good book if you're a Christian, understanding Christian marriages, how you're supposed to Do marriage, do family. speaking of family, dude, this book right here, raising parents. Raising parents. Who's the author? This is Jonathan Borzazog. He's a weird name. Okay. So we are actually raising Parents, right? Like we're not just raising our kids. Our kids are gonna see and understand everything that we we do. I see so that's that's he's the one that talks about like if you don't raise your kids, you're gonna end up raising your kids' kids Yeah.

Corley: You know, so that's a powerful statement. Helton Pereira: Yeah, I mean, so it I listen, I I want to be able to to enjoy my wife, enjoy my kids, and then in Being you're a grandparent right now, right? Well yeah, I'm I'm sure you can can can brag about your grandkids, and that's the man, I I look forward to to the day that I get to do that, but I want to enjoy my grandkids and then Send them back to yes, and take them back. You know? Corley: You won't want to. You'll want to keep them too. So I promise. I promise you, man. But they go ahead. Helton Pereira: Leave and cleave, man. So this is not really a book. It's a study guide by Pastor Mark Driscoll understanding boundaries, family boundaries. So leave leave and cleave. Leave and cleave. So It's out of out of a passage in in Genesis where you're supposed you and your wife are supposed to leave your mother and father and then cleave to your wife. Okay. Yeah, because Listen, I'm from Brazil. I'm a Latino family. Latino families, they like live together. They're they're you know it's a really weird family dynamic. And I had to actually leave my parents' house. Like we lived together at one point after getting married. And you know, it wasn't a my wife and you know, I was having dinners with my mom and and my wife's like, I already cooked dinner for you, but it's like, oh this is my mom's food. It's delicious And she's like, but I'm your wife. You know, it's right. Understanding the dynamics and setting boundaries. That's what all this book is about. setting boundaries for family, for friends. If you're married and hanging out with single people all the time, you should probably shouldn't be doing that. It's you not that you can't hang out with your friends, but like married people should be doing married people stuff and single people should be doing single people stuff. And understanding that dynamic is is super super important. Books that definitely helped me out in the fire service firefighter functional fixes. So somebody yeah, so it is correct. Dan Kerrigan and Jim Moss, yeah. So somebody asked me earlier, okay, what do I do to motivate somebody? Get get a book like this, figure out, put your workouts together, motivate each other, just hey Let's grab this book.

Helton Pereira: Let's see what this workout does. That was huge for me. They talked about workout, nutrition, sleep, all that stuff. A big one, man. I I can tell you, like sleep, it is good. Corley: This has been suggested. This has been, yeah. Helton Pereira: This is like the Bible of sleep, man. I, Matthew Walker, Why We Sleep, the biggest thing for me was understanding that how sleep is linked to our ability to Not just regenerate our body but our mind, right? When we sleep is when we are able to put all our thoughts together. And so sleep, lack of sleep has a lot to do with PTSD, anxiety. and mental health issues. And it wasn't until I actually got my sleep locked in that I was able to deal with all that kind of stuff in my life. I got a I got a few more. Corley: Yeah? Truth about I'll do a I I honestly if I had my way, the the scrap would be nothing but me talking about books to people who are passionate about books. We're lucky I don't do it my way, so go ahead. Helton Pereira: No, no, I love it. Truth about PTSD. So if you struggle with PTSD, this is a a n nice little short book. it is by Chad Robishaw. look this guy up, Chad Robishaw. He is this guy is just a hero. So he's Marine Recon, he started actually he's the one that started this organization called the Mighty Oaks. they they send firefighters, first responders, and military. to to a week-long resiliency center and and it's a faith-based organization. Everything is paid for. They also have programs for for wives as well. It's it's just an amazing organization to just help you out with any PTSD and dealing with mental health issues. So super awesome. And off obviously, I couldn't left leave. Chief Alley, Hope Out of Darkness. Man, everybody should be reading reading this book.

Corley: out of darkness chief Dina Ali. Helton Pereira: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And so last three. Firefighter success. Okay, this is a huge book for me when I was You know, putting together my plans for you know designing my core values, my mission, my vision was huge for me as I as I was becoming a a new officer. Sergies, no nonsense leadership. man, understanding, understanding. So there was a period of my life that all I wanted to do was complain. and and sit around the firehouse and and yell as as loud as I could, you know, like, hey, you know, fire department sucks. Let's fix it. Right. But one one sentence in this book that said, you need to just worry about your fishbowl. You know, like sometimes we want to make waves in the ocean and it it takes a it takes a lot for us to make waves in the ocean. But if you can just take care of your fishbowl, man. you can then make you all all of you together can make make waves and people will he's got a new edition out too, right? Corley: Second edition's come out. Helton Pereira: Yeah, he does the second edition and I have it and he gave it to me.

Corley: Excellent. Helton Pereira: And the last one, because the last thing that we always think about is money, right? So this is a buddy of mine as well, Kyle Steele, from patient from pension to paycheck. So this guy was he was a he was a nerd. He's he's a nerd and I love him and he drinks girly drinks, but I love him. And So so he was a nerd, like he knew anything about pensions and and our retirement and and all kinds of investments. So he's he just really nerded out about that stuff and he put this together and he actually Back in the day, he started a organization where he helped firefighters understand their retirement system, when they could retire, how they could retire, and He actually was able to retire early from the fire department because he was just that smart and that savvy with with his money. So it's definitely something that we are all need to think about because listen, I'm 17 years in. If if you guys are, you know, five, ten, fifteen, twenty years in, you gotta think about your money and you gotta think about where to put your money. Corley: And it's something we don't address. It's something we absolutely don't address. Yeah. And when you're young, you don't care about it. You don't care. That's that's in the that's in the future. That's so far out there. Yeah, it's closer than you think.

Helton Pereira: Yeah. So think about your money and get some people to now listen. If you don't want to read all those books, Chief already said it. Just Grab this one. It's a lot of this stuff is in there. and again, it's listen I I love and if just call me. Just I I'll talk to you guys about all this stuff because I truly am passionate about just just getting people to figure out how to do things right. You know, how to How to love God, love, love your wife, love your kids, and take care of yourself. And man, the fire service, it's it's gonna make it so much easier if you have all those things figured out, man. Corley: So I love your message, brother. We do a thing on here. It's called the Five Questions for Firefighters. I sent you the wrong ones, but you know the right ones, right? Yeah, let's go. I think I got it. They are, of course, the new version, 5. 0. The answers are there's no right answers. There's only your opinions. And the points are arbitrary assigned by me with the help of the audience. So Helton Pereira, are you ready for the five questions for firefighters?

Helton Pereira: I think I am. Let's go. Corley: Number one, you can do anything in the world except be a firefighter. What would you choose to be? Helton Pereira: All right, so I kind of already gave it up a little bit in the beginning. I I would be a I I wanted to be a doctor, but not just a doctor. I actually wanted to be a doctor in the Air Force. So my family back home in Brazil, all my family were military. They all went to the Brazilian Air Force. So actually before I left, I was in high school. So I was in a prep school to go into the Brazilian Military Academy. So when I got here, I said, Mom, you know, I I want to go, I want to go into the United States Air Force. And she said, absolutely not, you know and so I was like, all right, cool, then I'll just go be a fireman. And so I would I would be in the I'd probably be in the Air Force It's something that I I toyed with the idea even after I was married. My wife was like, absolutely not. Like you're already gone too much. So I thought about reservists. so I I'd probably be serving our country in the Air Force.

Corley: I will give Doctor is a is a cool one. Doctor is a cool one, so you get max points to lead it off. One for one. Number two, it's jogtown. It's time. You're in route and responding like the scene from backdraft, cassette tape, all of it in the works. What song are you playing while in route? Helton Pereira: All right, so I had a song I had to I had to change it because I I had to I had to keep up with the the cool rap cool cool music. So so I'm gonna say it's keep going by Kieran the Light Corley: Keep going by now say the van the the artist Kieran the light. Helton Pereira: It's K yeah K-I-E-R-A-N. Corley: Kieran the light. Oh yeah. Sam's got it. I know it's not on the list, so it will be added. Keep going by curing the light. I'm going to wait and see what people say about points. I can't judge your selection. I can't judge your selection. This new trend has it into a genre where I have trouble unless it's old school. Really old. Yeah. So I'm waiting to see if it Solid. Kieran the light is awesome. That comes from Joseph Lafergy. So there we go. I will give you the max points because you got five exclamation points on solid. yeah, Rob Fisher and me are in the same boat. We never heard of them. Max points two for two. I can't. I'm gonna check it out. I'm gonna check it out in the after party. We're gonna be playing it. number three. Tomorrow morning you wake up and you are the chief of department. You can do whatever you want. Magic wand, what is the first change you are making? First change

Helton Pereira: All right, so 42 hour workweek for sure. And again, it has to do a lot with the sleep. I think that is sleep is is definitely one thing that we need more in the fire service. Obviously the tones are still gonna go off at night, right? But if we can go home and recover for a couple days and then come back refreshed, man, it's I think it's gonna make a difference in so much. And again, it's more time off with your family, it's more time off with your kids. And it it just goes back along with with everything that I've been saying. So I can spend more time with my wife. I can spend more time with the kids and it's just gonna be better for for my for my fit for my health. And so yeah, let's just go to a 42-hour working week. Corley: Bonus max points. I don't know if I've ever given bonus max points, but absolutely, dude, that is one of the most important things is as the job has evolved, our schedule has not. Our schedule was created for a completely different job than what we're doing now And and and we absolutely it's and it's taking hold. Florida's it's hitting big in Florida and moving and moving across the country and and and hopefully more and more people will get on board. Yeah, absolute, absolute max points for for the 42-hour work week The the work week has to evolve. The job has evolved. The fire grounds evolved. The fuels have evolved. The fire behavior. Now the the work week needs to evolve. Okay. The EMS has evolved. You got me fired up, Heldon. Number number four, on the clock. You are riding backwards. You are a backseat firefighter. It's a four-man engine or truck. Your choice. You can choose anyone who is your dream company to ride with. One driver, one officer, one firefighter

Helton Pereira: All right, I'm gonna break the rules. Mark Davidson, John Velez is driving, and Josh Chase, the backseat firefighter, is gonna be for me, but I'm gonna bring the whole first alarm. Kyle Romagas is second in because he's going to get the line right. Cody Trestriel is third in because he's going to go to the back and he's going to get my six. If I need somebody to on a Mayday, it's going to be Robert Mirris, so he's fourth in. Preston Lyons is going to be on the tiller because he just wants to be a truckie so bad. Justin McAlliance is going to be on the second truck. I'm going to put Blake Sinesta on the rescue because it saves all of us. And I need the conductor, right? Chief Ike is going to be the BC. Corley: Damn, that's a you you got a hall of fame, hall of fame, and you did it in 35 seconds. So there's your answer. And that moves us to number five, the question that never changes, heavy fire and searchable space. Would you rather be assigned to the nozzle or first in on VES? Helton Pereira: I gotta have the nozzle, man. That's I'm a I'm an engine company guy, so I wanna go down the hallway and

Corley: put fire out that's me i love it i love it man i absolutely love it that officially puts 320 scraps in the books My brother, Helton Pereira. I was gonna try and do the Portuguese pronunciation, but no. thank you for sharing your evening with us. Thank you for disrupting your sleep and staying up a little later for us. Helton Pereira: I love it. Corley: And if someone wants to get a hold of you, someone wants to reach out, find out more about keeping the first things first, the podcast, the book, a class, what's the best way to do so Helton Pereira: Yeah, so you can hit me up at the first things first show at gmail. com. You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, just put at the first things first. I obviously chose a name that has A huge there's a big sports podcast out there. So at the first things first, you'll find me on there. Also the website, thefirstthingsfirst. com. just hit me up and you know, my schedule's wide open. Corley: So I love it. I love it. let's do the Challenge to the scrappers. The challenge to the scrappers that they need to complete before next scrap, next Tuesday. What's your challenge to them, Mr. Pereira

Helton Pereira: All right, so obviously I love marriage stuff. Okay, so there's this thing called the two two two rule. It's you go on a date every two weeks. You go on a date on a on a overnight every two months and you try to take a week-long vacation with your spouse every two years. Okay. Obviously you're not going to be able to do all those in the next week, but you can definitely do the first one. So try to find the time to schedule a date with your spouse and talk about the 222 rule. You know, talk about, you know, hey, where we're going to go in a couple months and where we're going to go in a couple of years. And try to make that a habit. And it doesn't have to be the 222. It can be the three three three or four four. Just find time to date your wife. Because again, it's you got to put the first things first, man. And the wife is definitely the first thing for me. So Corley: I love it, brother. Great, great, great challenge. Great challenge. Helton Pereira: And if you're not married, ask somebody out. So take the courage and go ask somebody out. There you go.

Corley: Throw it in there. If you're not in a relationship, go take a chance and get on one. Guest suggestion, who is someone you think needs to be on the scrap or back on the scrap? Helton Pereira: Yeah, so I've got a couple guys in there on the on the you know on the chat. So Dennis Daniel Alice, he's host of Faith in the Firehouse Man, this guy's got an amazing story and he's doing big, big things. Such a generous, generous dude. He just wants to give back to people. So he said Daniel Atlas. Januar Daniel Allison I'm probably messing up his name. Okay, okay. Faith in the firehouse. Put you on the spot. Yeah, notes. And Derek Derek is another guy, Derek And Paul Floyd, their forge in darkness, another good dude that's you know, these guys I've seen them on here tonight asking some great questions Yeah, so those guys are doing doing awesome stuff. And the last guy is Pat Long. Pat Long has an awesome story. He just started something called the DCOM project. So Pat went through about a cancer about a year or so ago. You know, he's still on the job, but his goal is now to to try to raise awareness and raise funds for firefighters to be more aware of of cancer in the in the fire service. But his goal specifically, he wants to give back he wants to bring saunas, ice baths, and gym equipments and put them in the firehouses, and that's what his organization is doing. So Those are the three guys that I'd say to bring them on. They're awesome dudes.

Corley: I love it. I absolutely love it. Love the suggestions. Love the challenge. So let's get to the housekeeping. Go to patreon. com slash the vigilantes. The Discord is where it's at. Helton talked about it during the scrap tonight. There is so much going on in there all the time, from advice to I I it's hard to even wrap it's great, man. Just go be apart. If you're looking for a place to connect with like-minded souls, go become a vigilante. If you're looking for a place to get encouragement, find accountability, go become a vigilante. and of course You get to be in the after party if you are a vigilante, and that's happening in the next few minutes. Sam has already posted the link to the vigilantes, and we're gonna go in there, and like always, we are gonna absolutely roast Helton Pereira. So yeah, I'm heading up to Minnesota next week, and there's gonna be a vigilante meetup while we're up in Minnesota, and I look forward to meeting all the vigilantes. I'm I look forward to meeting scrappers. And everybody. But vigilantes, man, there's just something about the creed and seeing each other and saying, Yeah, I know. Yeah, we got that. Coming up next week on the scrap, Brendan McDonough. I am excited for that conversation. Took a while to make it happen. You do not want to miss it. And then it is the return of one of my favorite people, the one and only Mr. Calm the Chaos himself, and Donnie Castros. And on that episode, we are giving away the Pay it forward that Sean Gray and David Rhodes made David Rhodes made happen on Sean Gray's episode of the scrap, but we're we're announcing the winner of that pay it forward pass to FDIC and the vigilantes again. They're the ones who are voting on all of the submissions that were put in for that FDIC pass. So not only do they get to be a part of it, they also get jobs to do. So and they're amazing, just like always. so that's it. Let's Enough prattling for me. We'll get to the after party. I'm trying to think what else to talk about. That's it. Audience, you guys absolutely crushed it. with unbelievable questions tonight, sending them right down the pipe. It was awesome. I love, love, love that you guys show up and make the scrap magical each and every week.

Corley: Helton Thank you for spending your evening with us, your passion, and I mean, honestly, sharing the message of keeping first things first. Thank you guys. Appreciate it Remember, mutts don't scrap. I hope the tones stay silent unless it is burning. Speaker 4: This job will never be safe. So stay smart out there